9 Lessons I’ve Learned DJing Weddings
(That Will Help You Too!)

by Chris Brower
Last Updated: December 14, 2021

Even if you follow everything in the Be a Wedding DJ definitive guide, you won’t be a perfect DJ right away. Or maybe ever, really, as there are always areas in which you can improve.

I’ve been DJing since 2012, and there are many things I’ve learned along the way that I couldn’t have predicted.

Here are a few lessons.

Lesson: You Can’t Plan Out All the Music Ahead of Time

My first few weddings, after the couple gave me their song ideas, I’d get to work putting together other song ideas.

I wanted to be prepared with loads of great ideas, so I was sure to succeed.

Not a bad idea, but I learned you simply can’t plan out the playlist ahead of time – and have it be successful. Probably not at least.

The best wedding playlist is created on the fly. Maybe you’re thinking two to three songs ahead, sure, but you’re reacting to song requests, to ideas that come to you on the spot, to how the crowd is reacting to what you’re playing, and so on.

Not every song you pick will succeed. But you’re likely going to do better if you allow yourself to be spontaneous, react to what’s going on, and create a custom playlist on the spot.

Lesson: Guests Can Be Difficult!

TV shows had led me to believe brides could be a handful. However, I soon learned guests are really the most difficult to deal with.

Sure, some brides and grooms have been a little uptight. Maybe even a little unfriendly at times. But it’s guests who have insulted what I’m playing (despite a full dance floor) or kept returning to my table over and over again to request songs and practically take over DJ duties – and seemed annoyed when I didn’t play their requests RIGHT AWAY.

In fact, it’s been legit shocking and kind of heartbreaking how rude guests have been to me at times. Sure, maybe it is alcohol, but I don’t personally know anyone who drinks and then starts insulting DJs or vendors or bartenders or whomever when they’re totally unprovoked.

I’m a passive, laid-back guy! But I’ve had to be a little stronger at times. I’ve had to more pointedly tell some guests, “I’m telling you, I cannot play your request – the couple asked me to not play that song. Today is about them.” Another time, “Sir, you need to leave,” said to a man who looked like he might seriously fight me for playing “Sexyback,” a song the couple asked me to play but evidently he didn’t like.

At the end of the day, while occasionally I’ve needed to be more assertive with guests, I’ve also had to be patient, try to not let these moments get me down too much, and also not fly off the handle at them (which isn’t hard for me anyway).

Still, it’s a challenge of DJing weddings that I couldn’t have predicted.

Lesson: Get General Liability Insurance

General liability insurance covers you if someone sues you because of an injury or accident. Say someone trips on one of your cords (of course, do everything possible to make this not happen), gets injured, and sues you. Liability insurance will help cover you and avoid financial ruin.

I didn’t have this my first couple years in business. In fact, I didn’t even know this was a thing.

Then a gig or two came up where the couple told me, prior to booking me, that the venue requires DJs to have general liability insurance. I looked into it and saw it could cost $200/year or more. It all just seemed like a waste of money. Yes, insurance can protect you just in case, but it still seemed kind of silly.

So I told them, “Sorry, I don’t have that,” because I figured, whatever, hopefully another couple would book me for that date.

But as time went on, more and more couples asked if I had general liability insurance, and I realized it was stupid to be turning down lots of money just to save $200/year. Plus, obviously, if something bad did happen, this would be really nice to have!

And sure enough, since I have gotten it and renewed every year, I’ve had more venues ask if I have it. It’s nice that I can say, “Absolutely,” send them a certificate that provides proof, and then there are no problems.

Sometimes venues don’t even mention DJs needing general liability insurance until a week before the wedding. Or they talk as if it’s a given. They don’t even ask if I have it. So yeah, I’m thankful I have it and can avoid any last-minute stress from having to super quickly sign up for a policy.

(Note: you can buy general liability insurance on a cheaper, per-event basis, but it’s likely going to get expensive and annoying if you have to do it several times a year.)

Ready for the complete guide to becoming a wedding DJ? Here you go.

Lesson: Play Slow Songs

Early on, I would play maybe one or two slow songs a wedding. I figured slow songs are boring, they’re party killers, etc. I do indeed have difficult guests who complain if I play any slow song (“Ugh, can we get this party going!? This is so boring! Come on, bro!”).

But then I learned the obvious values of slow songs:

There are some guests who don’t enjoy dancing but will dance to a slow song. (It’s not just older guests either.) A slow song might be the only time they dance, so it’s good to get these non-dancers out to the dance floor if possible.
In general, for faster dancing, it does feel like if people don’t know the song they’re less likely to dance to it. On the other hand, I’ve noticed I can play more obscure slow songs, and the dance floor will still fill.
Photographers naturally want a lot of photos of happy couples, so slow dances give them a great chance to get several photos that the new couple and their guests will love to look at.
Slow songs can indeed kind of kill a super crazy party, but they can also provide a nice reset. People get exhausted dancing to fast songs for hours straight. Slow songs let them dance in a different style, something more laid-back, so they can recharge without having to leave the dance floor.
Many guests request a slow song that was their first dance at their wedding. If their choice would fit with tonight’s wedding, I’m happy to play this song, so they and their spouse can have a special moment (along with the other people dancing).

These days I try to play a slow song every 30-45 minutes or so, unless the couple has given me different instructions. I think people appreciate the change in style, and I can easily get the party rocking again soon enough.

Lesson: Encourage Final Payment Before the Wedding

I typically ask for half of the payment down front when they book me and any remainder by the day of the wedding (so it could be at the wedding). My general feeling is, well, I haven’t totally done my job yet, so I shouldn’t require full payment until the wedding happens.

Some DJs require final payment before the day of the wedding, and that’s not a bad way to go. In fact, it probably does reduce lot of awkwardness.

At the very least, I recommend encouraging final payment before the day of the wedding, because I’ve learned how awkward it is to have to interrupt the couple near the end of the night, while they’re having fun, to say, “Oh, by the way, you still owe me the remainder…”

Then a frantic dash to find the checkbook or the parent responsible for payment happens.

When you’re talking to the couple a week or so before the wedding, remind them about the remainder due and offer some suggestions:

“You could turn in the payment this week, so you have it all taken care of.”
“You could put a check in an envelope and have a family member or bridal party member deliver it to me at the wedding.”

I often make a joke about, “Haha, I always feel bad interrupting the couple’s fun at the wedding to ask for the remainder, but I understand if you want to wait…” and most do agree with me and pay me beforehand.

Lesson: Follow Up in a Timely Manner and Often

For years, I sent just one follow-up email 7-10 days after my last communication with a couple who inquired about my services but hadn’t booked me yet. I’m a nice guy and didn’t want to bug them. If they want to hire me they have my information, so they’ll reach out when they’re ready…

And then on the advice of other DJs, I started following up just a few days after our last communication. Then sending another email a little time later. Then another. And you know what happened? I started having much better luck booking jobs!

I don’t believe in hounding potential clients, but sending an email every few days isn’t crazy. And it really, really helps you get more business.

Of course, sending a bunch of emails can’t help your DJ business if it’s simply not good or not appealing to people. But once you get those other things in good shape, persistent contact can really benefit you.

Lesson: Get a Lavalier (Lapel) Mic

When I started my DJ business, I had a wired microphone* and a wireless microphone.

Lavalier (lapel) microphones seemed expensive and not particularly necessary. I was providing music and microphones for ceremonies, but it seemed like the officiant could just hold the wireless microphone, right?

Well, they did, but some officiants complained. They had a Bible or notes to hold, plus the rings. Having to hold a microphone was annoying and burdensome.

So I finally shelled out the money, and yeah, it was such a “duh!” that I should’ve done it on day one. Officiants need to have their hands free. You can put a wireless microphone on a microphone stand, which would in effect leave their hands free, but it’s an eyesore for photos.

The second lavalier microphone lesson: get a good one! I went through a couple cheap ones before I got the Shure BLX14/CVL system, which greatly improved the audio quality.

Lesson: Get a "Second Setup"

The second setup is a smaller setup often used for ceremonies or cocktail hours in a different room or location than the reception. Maybe the ceremony is outside, while the reception is indoors. Maybe the cocktail hour is in a foyer, while the reception is in the banquet hall.

If you don't have a second setup, you're going to have to do a lot of fast moving to get the equipment from one spot to another to avoid a long gap in music.

Early on, I did have an additional speaker to use for ceremonies/cocktail hours in another spot, but a lot of my other equipment was the same as the reception setup. Cords, microphones, etc. I had to then do a lot of really fast moving from one spot to another.

It was stressful!

Weddings are stressful enough. Do yourself a favor and have a second, separate setup. This can serve you well in the situations where you need music in a different room/spot. But also, this can act as a backup if any part of your main reception setup stops working, such as the mixer or laptop.

Second setups typically include at least :

1 speaker – For ceremonies/cocktail hours, one speaker should be enough. You could use, for example, the Electro-Voice ZLX-12P, which I reviewed in detail.
Mixer – Something small (but robust) like the Behringer Xenyx 1202FX could work nicely. It has for me, and it's relatively inexpensive.
Lavalier microphone system – As detailed earlier, you really need to have a lavalier microphone for the officiant to use.
Laptop to play your music. It's a really good idea to have a backup laptop just in case.
Audio interface to connect your laptop to the mixer. I use the Native Instruments Traktor Audio 2.
Cords to connect everything together, including 1/4”, XLR, USB, power cords, power strip, extension cords, adapters, etc.

Lesson: Use a Hand Truck/Dolly for Moving Equipment

My first year I carried in every piece of equipment. This included two speakers, my laptop bag, and two large tubs full of cords, a mixer, and other things.

It took a long time and was HEAVY! It killed my back.

Then I wised up and got myself a good hand truck/dolly from a hardware store, a converter one that lets it go from a two-wheel dolly to a four-wheel cart (the two-wheel configuration makes it easier to fit it in a car). The Harper Trucks 700 lb Hand Truck and Dolly could work well for you. Having a hand truck/dolly is one of many things that I'm very thankful I have.

Now I move things in and out of venues MUCH faster with much less back-breaking work required.

Conclusion

No one is perfect at their job on day one. The same is true for DJing weddings. But keep working hard to improve your skills. Pay attention to any weaknesses, whether your actual skills or the equipment you have, and work to improve those. Your business will only get better and better.

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9 Lessons I’ve Learned DJing Weddings(That Will Help You Too!)